Pseudo-Xmas is a reality in this part of the hemisphere. Remember how novel it was the first year we decided that it would be cool to have xmas in the summer? That's because I was craving Christmas food between the two Christmases. Funny how we had Christmas lights and presents when it was scorching outside, wasn't it?

Looks like my "dream" came true. Even when I explained this "novel" idea to my Australian friend in Beijing last year, she wasn't impressed. Let me tell about a cultural experience I had yesterday beyond any expectations I had before I left the Northern hemisphere.

My friend who works at the Swiss Embassy SMSes me about a concert taking place at the Botanical Gardens with candles where we can bring a picnic dinner. The concert starts at 7pm and I imagine classical music with formal attire and violins. I'm not a big fan- but hey- it's my first time to the gardens and it's an outdoor summer night festival!

We arrive and already, cars are jammed and parked along the road, onto the grass extending far from the entrance of the gardens. We secure a spot and walk towards the entrance when we start seeing people selling santa hats with gaudy lights that flash glued to the white part of the hat. The hats are not all red, there are blue ones too(!) We pay the R5 entrance fee and walk in. We buy a candle each. "but we have no matches." "don't worry," I assure her, "we can borrow light from neighbours."

The garden is jammed when we start hearing . . . Christmas Carols. It is very disorienting to see all these people (mostly whites) crammed together with their picnics. Some look like they brought their entire house with them, chairs, tables, red wine, all they are missing is the bed. It is a familiy affair and we feel very out of place, scared to even turn to people next to us to borrow light. Everyone has their candles lit and they are in tank tops and shorts. The children's choir is on a stage with bright multi-coloured Christmas lights. We did not expect this and start laughing when the brass plays Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. People in shorts of all things, jingle their keys to Jingle Bells. And some Christmas songs are sung in Afrikaans too!

It definitely does not feel like Christmas here. I apologise- but it seems like a joke or else everybody is celebrating Pseudo-Xmas at the same time. Either one. The malls have the decorations up already. This is too much for a sheltered winter Christmas celebrater. . .

PS. Here is a real sordid/morbid Christmas story set in an American consumerist culture.